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> Love Among the Asgards
wonderland
post Dec 31st 2007, 12:01 PM
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After borrowing a LJ idea about 2007 fics, I realized I hadn't posted this crackfic here. It's short and not sweet. It's Jack and Thor.....




Love Among the Asgards


Daniel shook his head in disbelief. "Why is it that every time you go off with Thor, you come back looking like something the cat dragged in?"

"I don't know." Jack sobbed. "He's just so persuasive. I mean, have you ever tried to tell him no? The way he tilts that little bald head, blinks those big eyes and then that voice. It's so seductive...."

Daniel looked pointedly at Jack's slightly pooched-out belly before he replied icily, "Yes, I can see he seduced you right out of your pants."

"They needed my help. They can't procreate on their own." Jack delicately dabbed at his snotty nose with a scented hanky. "And then he started talking about his race and how they were all dying and the ship was so big and romantic and I just lost my head." Jack sighed dreamily.

"I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning. But exactly how did you get pregnant when Thor doesn't have, or seem to have, a..." Even Daniel couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Oh! It's so interesting!" Jack gushed, his hormones briefly forgotten. "He has this really long finger." Daniel sped for the door, face turning an interesting greenish white. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

"Oh, God! I shook his hand!"

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Magnavox
post Dec 31st 2007, 4:46 PM
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rotflmao_1.gif excellent.
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wonderland
post Dec 31st 2007, 7:43 PM
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Jack and Thor...which is technically Jack and Daniel biggrin.gif
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Magnavox
post Dec 31st 2007, 8:56 PM
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QUOTE(wonderland @ Dec 31st 2007, 7:43 PM) *

Jack and Thor...which is technically Jack and Daniel biggrin.gif


Threeway! Think of all those fingers! w00t.gif rolleyes.gif whistling.gif
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IndyJan
post Jun 24th 2008, 6:32 PM
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QUOTE(wonderland @ Dec 31st 2007, 12:01 PM) *

After borrowing a LJ idea about 2007 fics, I realized I hadn't posted this crackfic here. It's short and not sweet. It's Jack and Thor.....
Love Among the Asgards
Daniel shook his head in disbelief. "Why is it that every time you go off with Thor, you come back looking like something the cat dragged in?"

"I don't know." Jack sobbed. "He's just so persuasive. I mean, have you ever tried to tell him no? The way he tilts that little bald head, blinks those big eyes and then that voice. It's so seductive...."

Daniel looked pointedly at Jack's slightly pooched-out belly before he replied icily, "Yes, I can see he seduced you right out of your pants."

"They needed my help. They can't procreate on their own." Jack delicately dabbed at his snotty nose with a scented hanky. "And then he started talking about his race and how they were all dying and the ship was so big and romantic and I just lost my head." Jack sighed dreamily.

"I know I'm going to hate myself in the morning. But exactly how did you get pregnant when Thor doesn't have, or seem to have, a..." Even Daniel couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Oh! It's so interesting!" Jack gushed, his hormones briefly forgotten. "He has this really long finger." Daniel sped for the door, face turning an interesting greenish white. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

"Oh, God! I shook his hand!"


OMG, I just found this and it's too funny! laugh.gif

QUOTE(magnavox @ Dec 31st 2007, 8:56 PM) *

Threeway! Think of all those fingers! w00t.gif rolleyes.gif whistling.gif


And where they all have been. ohmy.gif
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wonderland
post Jun 24th 2008, 8:07 PM
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QUOTE(IndyJan @ Jun 24th 2008, 6:32 PM) *

OMG, I just found this and it's too funny! laugh.gif
And where they all have been. ohmy.gif

Why, thank you, ma'am. I actually wrote it because I was lamenting all those male-pregnancy stories and why was it that Daniel was always the one getting knocked up and feminized? And so I wrote it just to satisfy myself and because I couldn't resist the concept of Jack and Thor becoming parents.... dry.gif
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IndyJan
post Jun 25th 2008, 12:09 AM
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QUOTE(wonderland @ Jun 24th 2008, 8:07 PM) *

Why, thank you, ma'am. I actually wrote it because I was lamenting all those male-pregnancy stories and why was it that Daniel was always the one getting knocked up and feminized? And so I wrote it just to satisfy myself and because I couldn't resist the concept of Jack and Thor becoming parents.... dry.gif


We all know that the Asgards, Thor in particular, did have a thing for Jack. But who could blame him? I know quite a few people that have a thing for Jack, and I allow it to happen because Jack does not stray far from moi! wink.gif
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wonderland
post Jun 25th 2008, 7:07 AM
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QUOTE(IndyJan @ Jun 25th 2008, 12:09 AM) *

I allow it to happen because Jack does not stray far from moi! wink.gif

Honey, I hate to break it to you but Jack is a bit of a...well, how do I put this nicely? He's a slut. I'm sorry, but that's just what he is. I mean, he'll shag anyone. Alien women bearing cake, alien women with whom he's trapped, women whom he supervises, enraptured women who rave about him on the internet...... whistling.gif

For proof, I offer the following.

http://www.bunnyfic.com/ELG/slutbunny.htm

This post has been edited by wonderland: Jun 25th 2008, 7:08 AM
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IndyJan
post Jul 1st 2008, 6:33 PM
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QUOTE(wonderland @ Jun 25th 2008, 7:07 AM) *

Honey, I hate to break it to you but Jack is a bit of a...well, how do I put this nicely? He's a slut. I'm sorry, but that's just what he is. I mean, he'll shag anyone. Alien women bearing cake, alien women with whom he's trapped, women whom he supervises, enraptured women who rave about him on the internet...... whistling.gif

For proof, I offer the following.

http://www.bunnyfic.com/ELG/slutbunny.htm


That is so biased in Daniel's favor that it isn't even funny! dry.gif

Regarding Hathor, come on, her babies had his DNA! That has to count for at least 10 points.

As far as Broca Divide, exucse me, Daniel was clearly loving every moment of it. He didn't fight one bit. As far as Jack fighting Sam that is correct, but he was also effected by that virus. So if it makes Daniel blameless, so is Jack.

As far as Brief Candle, I'll give you that one. Jack should have known so much better. rolleyes.gif

As far as Point of View, Sam wanted that and Jack just obliged.

100 Days, I have stated numerous times that that woman is so needy and grasping. Poor Jack, he was so drunk and just couldn't resist. Of course, he thought he had to stay there, so he was making the best of it. wink.gif

WOO, well he only did it once Daniel mentioned that he could do something without any consequences. Teal'c also followed suit and did something. I say, "go for it Jack!"

Clearly the person doing this holds Daniel blameless no matter what he does, and jack is always to blame. If mitigating circumstances clear Daniel, then they also clear Jack.

As I said, Jack always sticks close to me and I never let him out of my sight. whistling.gif
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wonderland
post Jul 1st 2008, 7:03 PM
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QUOTE(IndyJan @ Jul 1st 2008, 6:33 PM) *

As far as Broca Divide, exucse me, Daniel was clearly loving every moment of it. He didn't fight one bit. As far as Jack fighting Sam that is correct, but he was also effected by that virus. So if it makes Daniel blameless, so is Jack.

I absolutely looooove Daniel's 'oh, you poor man.', both his tone and his expression.
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